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Four not-so-young orphans—one raised by a curator at the Louvre (where an albino assassin lurks), another a refugee from Mexican "libre" wrestling, the third a recent victim of snakes on her plane, and the fourth a "normal" resident of a mutant "X" community—visit a chocolate factory, where they stumble into an enchanted wardrobe that transports them to the land of Gnarnia (with a "G").

There they meet a flamboyant pirate captain and earnest students of wizardry—and join forces with, among others, a wise-but-horny lion to defeat the evil White Bitch of Gnarnia.


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